Monday, October 27, 2008
I am really astounded and thankful for all of the wonderful, thoughtful, and kind comments on my last post. I have to admit that I was hesistant to include so many painful, personal details on a public blog, but after reading the comments and realizing how many of you have had similar experiences, I am glad that I did. I want you to know that I read EVERY comment, and most of these comments have made me cry :) I can't tell you how much it means to me to know that thoughts of my baby exist in many hearts and minds other than my own. Even though my baby existed only for a very short time (and to many people he didn't exist at all), it helps to know that maybe someone other than Elliott and I will remember and think of him (I say him because I had 2 very realistic "boy" dreams while I was pregnant, so I feel that my baby was probably a boy). I guess that sounds silly, but I just don't want his life to be forgotten. So...thank you. Thank you so very, very much!
Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)
First off, I too want to send my condolences. I am so sorry for your loss. I found it interesting that you had "boy" dreams because I too had a miscarriage between my two children and that was the only child that I had a gender dream about. I felt as though it was a gift from God that He was giving me a glimpse of the child I would not get to hold. It was a sad dream, but one I will always remember. Huge hugs and know that you are and have been in my thoughts. Sincerely one of your blog following buddies, Meredith!ReplyDelete
I am so sorry for your loss. The grieving process is a strange and crazy thing that you go through. I have a child that I placed for adoption 11 yrs ago, and I experienced a loss of a child, grieving process. My step mom also had a still birth at 6 months along. That was a very difficult experience for everyone involved. Just take care of yourself. I check your blog daily for great curriculum ideas. I have a 4 yr old daughter and also have a in-home daycare and I integrate a preschool program. You have some really great ideas. I wish you and your family the bestReplyDelete
I like to think that although many of us have never met, we are all here for each other. God Bless.ReplyDelete
I just wanted to share that I too had a feeling of gender when our baby miscarried. We thought we were having a girl. Something that ended up helping me (I thought it was silly at first) was to do several things. First, we named our baby, Abby Grace. Then, using a hankerchif, I put tissue in the middle and tied off a ball (head). Then I tied little knots for arms. As soon as this rag doll was made I crumbled unexpectedly. As silly as it seemed, this was the only physical baby I had to tie to the memory of our little one. I made a special box and placed the doll in it. My husband and I each wrote a letter to her. We actually went out to where my grandma is buried, dug a hole (thank goodness we weren't arrested), put the box in it and covered it back up. Then, we read our letters out loud and prayed together. It was very healing. It said that she actually had a life, even if short that touched our lives. I tell you my story to encourage you to do something, even if small, to make closure for yourself. I am so sorry for your loss.ReplyDelete
that isn't silly at all to consider him a boy! he will always live in your heart!ReplyDelete
again so sorry for your loss!
your in my thoughts!
it's not silly at all! i didn't know my baby's gender either, but i still decided to name my baby. even though i had a strong feeling it was a girl, i chose a pretty neutral name - shiloh - which means, in hebrew, "God's gift." it helped me to name my baby - made it seem more real. in scripture it says our names are written on God's hand, and that all our days are planned before we are even formed...which means our babies have names written on God's hand...so why shouldn't we name them? also, wanted to tell you about this site, in case you do choose a name - she's a grieving mother who writes the names of other mom's babies in the sand for them in remembrance...http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/. it's really beautiful. (((hugs)))ReplyDelete
I wish I had the words that would make everything better. I don't.ReplyDelete
But do know that I am praying for you and Elliott and O and your tiny little boy.
Melissa, I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. Please know that you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Your little son was a special part of your lives and will continue to live on in your hearts and memories. I know that this is a very sad time for you and I hope you are taking good care of yourself. Wishing for comfort, healing, and blessings for you and your sweet family. I hope that you will continue to find comfort in the warmth and support from friends (on-line and in real life) and family members. And it doesn't surprise me at all that so many have reached out to you...just as you reach out and inspire so many with your creative and compassionate posts.ReplyDelete
Take care, Lucia
my thoughts are with you and your family. May you be blessed with strength to get through this time. Your baby will be remembered. My mother had two miscarriages between the four of us and we still remember and sometimes mention it.ReplyDelete
You are in my prayers. I'm so, so sorry.ReplyDelete
The gender dream sounds right.ReplyDelete
My husband and I experienced two miscarriages and it was extremely painful. It really helped us to do something. For the first child we created a box of memories: cards from friends remembering our loss, letters written to our child, a drawing by our two year old. With the second we planted a flowering bush in our backyard. It flowers in March which is when we miscarried. Whenever I look at it I can't help but remember those two little lives that we wish we could have held and known. It brings peace and beauty to my heart as I think of my little ones. My heart aches for your loss. Know that you are thought of and prayed for.ReplyDelete
Well I am behind on reading my blogs, so I missed your last post originally. I was coming to give you an award because I adore your blog ~ http://scrappyd.blogspot.com/2008/10/id-like-to-thank-awards-won.htmlReplyDelete
My kids are in 2nd & 6th grade so that is saying something to you, I wish you were around when mine were really little. The stuff you do with your daughter is awesome!
Now for your last post, I am so very sorry. After I had my first, I got pregnant. A little past 3 months (13 or 14 weeks) I got very sick with pneumonia. I almost died of it with my first, so I was instantly rushed to the hospital. Before admitting me, they did my first ultrasound. They couldn't find anything at all. They thought maybe the baby never formed. It was weird though because my levels were high & I had tons of symptoms.
Since I had pneumonia, I had to wait almost a week before doing the d & c and they couldn't fully put me under. Luckily I was so run down though that what they gave me was enough to make me sleep & not remember the procedure.
I'm very sorry for your loss!
Dont ever let anyone tell you that your child wasn't real.ReplyDelete
I am gald that you did share that information on your blog, I think you will have helped a lot of people.
Again my thoughts are with you and your family.
Yes, your baby was real and will be remembered.ReplyDelete
"An Angel opened the Book of Life.ReplyDelete
and wrote down my Babies births.
Then whispered as she closed the book,
Too Beautiful for Earth."
It's not silly at all! He was your baby and he will be remembered.ReplyDelete
Hang in there. You have people praying and thinking about you and your family, even if we've never met.
It is not silly at all! All of the feelings that you are going through right now are all the right and "normal" feelings that you should be having. Best wishes to you and your family, and remember that many people are thinking of you!ReplyDelete
Just wanted to say how sorry i am for this huge loss for you and your family. You are all in our prayers.ReplyDelete